Another angle that comes to mind for me is the tension between discipline and following your energy in the moment.
How do you think about balancing what you "should" do with what you "want" to do in a given moment? knowing that progress often involves doing things we feel we should do, but don't want to (like going for a run on a cold morning as part of a broader goal)
This is a great question Peter. I think the answer is related to our values and how we balance our capital V values with how we go about living our lives on a daily basis. And for better or worse, some of that is contingent on how we manage your energy too. Like in some cases it makes sense to push through that feeling and go for a run, and in some cases it makes sense to rest, but the specific balance depends on what you're trying to accomplish and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it. I wrote a little about this here: https://open.substack.com/pub/rossblankenship/p/prioritizing-your-values. In any case, I think the "gentle interrogation" (to use Mark's term) is still relevant - many expressions of discipline - though they can lead to what we might consider positive outcomes - can still be, at their core, manifestations of fear.
Yeah, I think any time you hear the word "should" internally, it deserves to be gently interrogated. Often I think our "shoulds" show up when we're not living into a particular culture's vision of the Good Life. (E.g. A good writer "should" write every day.) And I think you're spot on in identifying that underneath many of our "shoulds" is fear.
To be fair, sometimes "shoulds" are simply gesturing towards discipline and timeless wisdom (I know I "should" eat healthy because it's good for the body, mind, soul, etc.).
When it comes to writing specifically, I want to be drawn ("want to") more than driven to do it ("should"). Although some days, as you well know, the desire isn't there. There's still tremendous value in showing up even when you don't feel like it. But it's also ok to take a break!
The cultural influence of how we perceive our obligations is really powerful. And totally agree that "should" is not always bad - and in some cases quite good. I like the framing of "gently interrogating" the thought. Not saying throw it out and run in the opposite direction, or keep plowing ahead thoughtlessly, but simply look a little closer.
Another angle that comes to mind for me is the tension between discipline and following your energy in the moment.
How do you think about balancing what you "should" do with what you "want" to do in a given moment? knowing that progress often involves doing things we feel we should do, but don't want to (like going for a run on a cold morning as part of a broader goal)
This is a great question Peter. I think the answer is related to our values and how we balance our capital V values with how we go about living our lives on a daily basis. And for better or worse, some of that is contingent on how we manage your energy too. Like in some cases it makes sense to push through that feeling and go for a run, and in some cases it makes sense to rest, but the specific balance depends on what you're trying to accomplish and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it. I wrote a little about this here: https://open.substack.com/pub/rossblankenship/p/prioritizing-your-values. In any case, I think the "gentle interrogation" (to use Mark's term) is still relevant - many expressions of discipline - though they can lead to what we might consider positive outcomes - can still be, at their core, manifestations of fear.
Thanks Ross. I’ll continue to think on that. Fwiw, I recently did a post on values too! https://open.substack.com/pub/peteringe/p/defining-your-core-values-the-compass
Yeah, I think any time you hear the word "should" internally, it deserves to be gently interrogated. Often I think our "shoulds" show up when we're not living into a particular culture's vision of the Good Life. (E.g. A good writer "should" write every day.) And I think you're spot on in identifying that underneath many of our "shoulds" is fear.
To be fair, sometimes "shoulds" are simply gesturing towards discipline and timeless wisdom (I know I "should" eat healthy because it's good for the body, mind, soul, etc.).
When it comes to writing specifically, I want to be drawn ("want to") more than driven to do it ("should"). Although some days, as you well know, the desire isn't there. There's still tremendous value in showing up even when you don't feel like it. But it's also ok to take a break!
The cultural influence of how we perceive our obligations is really powerful. And totally agree that "should" is not always bad - and in some cases quite good. I like the framing of "gently interrogating" the thought. Not saying throw it out and run in the opposite direction, or keep plowing ahead thoughtlessly, but simply look a little closer.