To Work is to Want, Want, Want

A quick thought about work going into Labor Day

Earlier this summer,

Roxane Gay

ended her run as the New York Times columnist “Work Friend.” In that role, she spent four years thinking and writing and answering readers’ questions about work.

In her farewell essay, she makes an observation I thought might be interesting to share on the front end of Labor Day weekend. Here it is:

“To work, for so many of us, is to want, want, want. To want to be happy at work. To feel useful and respected. To grow professionally and fulfill your ambitions. To be recognized as leaders. To be able to share what you believe with the people you’re around for eight or more hours a day. To be loyal and hope your employers will reciprocate. To be compensated fairly. To take time off to recharge and enjoy the fruits of your labor. To conquer the world. To do a good enough job and coast through middle age to retirement.

You worry it’s too late to pursue your passions or make a drastic career change. You have found your dream job and hope you can stay in your position for the rest of your working life if only you could get rid of one terrible colleague. You want a job that is easy and mindless so you can leave it in the office at the end of the day, or you want work that is meaningful and all-encompassing."

To work is to want, want, want. I can’t stop thinking about that.

It feels like my mind keeps wandering back to that idea to see if there’s a condition that makes it untrue. I’m not sure I’ve found a way out yet.

In so many circumstances it seems like work is the engine of our desire, where are values compete with our anxieties, where our deep motives are made manifest.

Under what circumstances would working not be wanting?

A quick thought experiment:

1. Antonyms of want: abundance, presence.

2. ChatGPT’s response to my question, “what is the opposite of wanting?” “The opposite of wanting can be described as contentment, satisfaction, or fulfillment. These terms suggest a state where there is no desire or need for anything more, as one feels complete or at peace with what they have.”

So often it feels like working is wanting because we’re chasing fantasies of satisfaction. If I feel useful, I’ll be content. If I achieve my ambitions, I’ll be satisfied. If my legacy feels secure, I’ll be fulfilled.

Instead of chasing those outcomes, what might it look like to work from a place of contentment, satisfaction, and fulfillment?

Here’s an exercise related to this idea that I’ve found particularly useful:

Set a timer for 5 minutes and begin writing continuously, without worrying about grammar, structure, or overthinking. Start with the prompt:

What I truly want out of my work is…

Let your thoughts flow freely, exploring not just the practical aspects—like salary or job title—but also the deeper, more meaningful desires, such as the impact you want to have, the values you want to embody, and how you want your work to align with your life in a holistic sense. Push yourself to dig a little and discover what truly drives you.

When the timer goes off, take a moment to review what you’ve written. Are there any surprises? What stands out to you as most important?